After the Embassy Ball at which Karpathian, the Hungarian speech therapist, came to believe that Liza was Hungarian royalty, Professor Higgins and his family, friends and servants celebrate “his victory.” While Higgins may have been Liza’s teacher, it was she who learned to speak and behave in such a way that aristocrats would believe she was “born to the breed.”
Tonight, old man, you did it!
You did it! You did it! You said that you would do it,
And indeed you did. I thought that you would rue it;
I doubted you’d do it. But now I must admit it
That succeed you did. You should get a medal
Or be even made a knight.
It was nothing.
All alone you hurdled
Every obstacle in sight.
Now, wait! Now, wait!
Give credit where it’s due, A lot of the glory goes to you.
But you’re the one who did it,
Who did it, who did it! As sturdy as Gibraltar,
Not a second did you falter. There’s no doubt about it,
You did it!
I must have aged a year tonight.
At times I thought I’d die of fright.
Never was there a momentary lull
Shortly after we came in I saw at once we’d easily win;
And after that I found it deadly dull.
You should have heard the ooh’s and ah’s;
Every one wondering who she was.
You’d think they’d never seen a lady before.
And when the Prince of Transylvania
Asked to meet her,
And gave his arm to lead her to the floor…! I said to him:
You did it! You did it! You did it!
They thought she was ecstatic
And so damned aristocratic,
And they never knew
That you did it!
Thank Heavens for Zoltan Karparthy.
If it hadn’t been for him I would have died of boredom.
Karparthy? That dreadful Hungarian?
Was he there?
Yes.He was there, all right. And up to his old tricks.
That blackguard who uses the science of speech
More to blackmail and swindle than teach;
He made it the devilish business of his
“To find out who this Miss Doolittle is.”
Every time we looked around
There he was, that hairy hound From Budapest.
Never leaving us alone, Never have I ever known
A ruder pest
Finally I decided it was foolish
Not to let him have his chance with her.
So I stepped aside and let him dance with her.
Oozing charm from every pore
He oiled his way around the floor.
Every trick that he could play,
He used to strip her mask away.
And when at last the dance was done,
He glowed as if he knew he’d won!
And with a voice too eager,
And a smile too broad, He announced to the hostess
That she was a fraud!
“Her English is too good”, he said,
“That clearly indicates that she is foreign.
Whereas others are instructed in their native language
English people aren’t.
And although she may have studied with an expert
Dilectician and grammarian
I can tell that she was born Hungarian!
Not only Hungarian, but of royal blood,
she is a princess!”
“Her blood”, he said, “is bluer than the Danube is or ever was
Royalty is absolutely written on her face
She thought that I was taken in, but actually I never was
How could she deceive another member of her race?”
“I know each language on the map” said he, “and she’s Hungarian as the first Hungarian rhapsody”